WHAT DO I WANT? I WANT IT ALL

• Today's suggested practice: 15 minutes ... (see below)
• My playlist while writing today's meditation: Dino Saluzzi, Gabriel Kondor: Llamado y Canto
• My morning practice: 60 minutes, warm-up, followed by  Sat kriya and Linking to the Infinite pranayama and mantra.
• My vulnerability practice: Swim with this current, allow it to carry me further and deeper..

—Hans Peter Meyer

MY MEDITATION

Something.... a day ago? Two days ago? I am lost in this current, and allowing myself to be carried by her flow... held, feeling it all, delighted with it all...

What do I want? Does it even matter? Less and less so.

But this feeling of the current... taking me and my own wants are to practice, to write, to walk our dogs in the forest, grow flowers in my garden, dance with her, draw her infinite curves, and look into her eyes.

This feeling of allowing... alignment? All things as they need to be and me not feeling any "tension, pressure, friction, stress..."

No taking. No achieving. No lusting. No conquering. None of the adjectives of masculinity that I've known, that have kept me from being myself as the man I am: still, aware, honouring, firm, gentle, deep, strong, still, aware... strong enough to allow her to fly away, my heart opening in the wake of her flight, feeling more, ever more, ever deeper, and rooted. Swimming with this current —and rooted in this moment of awareness. I am this much.

What do I want? All the treasures! All the love! All the stillness! All the dancing! All the sex! All the quiet! All the beauty and all the wealth and all the trees and all the wind and all the power and all the everything! And, breathing, deep into this rooted presence, this powerful and deeply rooted presence, I am magnetic and hold all of Her, gently, that she may fly and dance and become herself.

This I want, to be this perfect stillness of my perfect alignment with myself.

TODAY'S INSPIRATIONS

🌀...Matter has been created and maintained by universal tension, pressure, stress, and friction. You don’t experience these challenging and chaotic qualities when you're aligned. When you step out of alignment, these qualities dominate your life. ...(Guru Singh and Guruperkarma Kaur, Remember Natural Sense)

🌀whatever you yearn for in intimacy isyours to claim. you don't need to settle foranything less. but it's hard for some of usto know, exactly, what it is that we want,because we can't hear our heart's truthamidst the noise of the overculture. wethink. love should look like this or likethat or, that what we want is impossible,abnormal, wrong, needs fixing. so we cramour yearnings into a box too small to fitthem. we settle for mediocrity, for thewhite picket fence, when what we reallywant... is a jungle. (Nina Lombardo, Way of Devotion)

🌀Breath more deeply. Steady your movements. Soften your heart. Make your gaze softer. Bring more playfulness until you can feel your partner's heart bloom. (John Wineland)

🌀...a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.... ( Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet)

🌀I am always impressed by you. (My beloved, my Oracle)

TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE

15 minutes to feel your alignment ...

Please read through first, then ...

• As yesterday, bring yourself to a room or outside space with a view. Stand (or sit) in front of it. Set a timer for 15 minutes.
• Close your eyes and bring your attention first to your connection to the floor or ground. Feel your sit bones or your feet, or both. Feel how they press into the floor, the ground beneath you. Breathing gently, attend to this foundational element: your connection to earth, gravity, the beginnings of your balance and alignment. Allow your body from your pelvis down to become heavy and solid. Feel that solidity. On this rests everything. Allow yourself to breathe deeply into this foundation.
• Let your breath become deeper, filling your belly. Then, holding this full belly, press this breath down into your genitals, into your perineum, and beyond, into the earth below you. Imagine this root starting from the base of your heart, pushing through your lower triangle (navel, sex, perineum) and into this root. Feel this root pushing deeper with every breath. This root holds you when the currents of feminine energy threaten to overwhelm. Take time here to deepen this root. Several breath cycles at least...
• When you are ready, begin to lift your spine out of this rooted pelvis.... Tucking your chin lift your chest slightly. There is now a beautiful line, your beautiful alignment, from the crown of your head through the centre of your head, your throat, your heart, your belly and genitals, your perineum, down into this powerful root. As you breathe in through your nose imagine the light, bright energy of the heavens pouring into your crown and down this aligned channel, filling your belly, your heart, up to your throat, and then pushing this energy deep into your root. This takes effort! Stay with it. You are bringing breath and posture and "grounding" into the service of your capacity to hold sacred space for everything She brings to you....
• As you exhale imagine the energy flowing up the front of your body and your body softening. The breath travels up the inner channel and out your nose as the energy softens your genitals, your belly, your heart, your throat, the front of your face, and then out the "third eye" at the brow between your eyes. Inhaling through your nose, you draw light bright energy down through your crown.... and you continue. This is focused, effortful breath, a circulation of energy within your body, but also within the greater circulation of energy between the heavens and the earth below. We are all simply clusters of sub-atomic particles, charged withe energy, vibrating in and out of alignment. Your breath and your posture are now helping to align you.
• After several effortful and focused breath cycles allow your attention to soften with the front of your body.... Allow your attention to be firm, not stiff, as your spine, your posture. Feel your head light and lifted, your pelvis and legs heavy and rooted. Relax your breath, keeping it deep and long, but no longer pressing down, no longer drawing in from the heavens. You may feel this dynamic flow continue, but it requires no effort. You may not feel this dynamic flow, but you are not concerned. All of your attention is now on being soft and open, firm and not stiff. You are, for a moment, in your alignment, or as near to it as is possible given your level of practice. The world is always changing. Her demands are unending. She is never satisfied. We contort ourselves trying to meet demands, trying to achieve, to satisfy, to be done with it all. There is no being done with it all. There is only learning how to bring ourselves into our own alignment, and knowing that in this alignment we are perfect as we are, knowing this is all She yearns for, this is all that is required.
• As the timer signals gently raise your arms up, bring your hands together in prayer pose, for the masculine-identified bringing your right thumb over your left, for the feminine-identified bringing your left thumb over right. Now reach up out of your pelvis and feel the alignment of your body from the tips of your fingers through your body down to whatever awareness you still have of your deep root. Gently breath into this subtle stretch. Hold the breathe and reach for a few seconds. Then, gently sweep your arms in a huge, expansive circle with your fingers outstretched as you open your eyes. Lower your hands slower than you want, your spine still lifted, your heart open, your base rooted. Feel how big you are. Feel how rooted you are. This is the beginning of your experience of alignment. From this, all else flows...