I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD THIS TENDERNESS

• Note: the next online coed groups are rescheduled for October 26 as I will be in transit to my Tofino retreat next week. To register see sacredbodies.ca/monthlywork *no charge when you’re registered with one the SacredBodies.ca programs

• Today's suggested practice: Day 8 of this month's practice... (see below)

• My playlist while writing today's meditation: Anton Bruckner, Symphony No. 9, Adagio https://music.apple.com/ca/album/symphony-no-9-in-d-minor-wab-109-3-adagio-langsam-feierlich/1475604554?i=1475604884

• My morning practice: 3:30am for 105 minutes of physical, yogic, and Meditation for Authentic Self-Expression (day 15/40)

• My vulnerability practice: Tenderly, called into more tenderness, an unknown into which I’m afraid to trespass…

Hans Peter Meyer

TODAY'S MEDITATION

If you’re in Canada you know, yesterday was the day we mark as “Thanksgiving.” I don’t remember this being a “thing” when I was a child. But with children, it became one. And especially as one of my sons’ birthdays always falls on this weekend. If nothing else on this weekend, I felt gratitude for this young man in my life. After daughters, he and his brother, my stepsons, added a new perspective to parenting experience. And so to all of these children, I say thanks, for making me the father I am. To this son I add, Happy Birthday!

This year the weekend of Thanksgiving marked another curious moment: my beloved flew from a million miles away to spend some time in close proximity. What does any of this mean? I’m not sure. I’m not sure she knows. But I said I wanted to meet her and to bring her “home,” and she readily agreed.

“Nervous excitement” is how a colleague described what I couldn’t put words to. That’s one way to describe it. Perhaps a “feminine” way? A way that actually feels the “nervous excitement” as pleasure, the anticipation of pleasure? For me, a painful anticipation of the unknown.

And in our 36 hours together, from airport to her door, so much feeling. Listening to a podcast about the female nervous system, her pelvic trauma, etc —and all of it filtered through my remembrance of my inattention to my beloved and her very sensitive being. A flood of feelings. A tidal wave of feelings. There were no adequate words to speak. And yet, something was said, or not said, and somehow, it was felt. These feelings of tenderness and extreme vulnerability and regret and so much more…

She was once told me, early in our time together, that I should know this about her: that others considered you “too sensitive.” A warning. I too might be one of those who can’t know her.

As I sit with the past 36 hours I wanted to tell her, Don’t ever think that you are “too sensitive.” Your sensitivity is, I know from listening to you and watching you and feeling into you, hard to bear.

But this is the treasure you bring to share with those of us who are paying attention.

For all of us who weren’t paying attention, and especially me, I apologize.

Your suffering is on me.

Your radiance, that’s on you.

And so I did. I sent this message. Knowing that in the silence I might find her only response. But, later, as I drove her to an appointment, she said, in her quiet and understated way, “Your message. Thank you. Yes, it is hard to bear.”

..

I have to remind myself, of what my father loved to sing, “Every day above ground is a good day!” An attitude I have to cultivate. And so, it is a good day to feel grateful. Her wonder never ends and today, as I breathe into this feeling of tender, oh so tender awe, today I know the value of this practice.

TODAY’S INSPIRATIONS

🌀…This gives you the awareness to know -- and the consciousness to know better. With this knowledge, you're then held responsible for your actions... you are an adult. When you welcome this awareness, it's angelic -- when you don't, it's deeply troubling and painful...you're a childish disturbance.…Our prayer is that you embrace your angels in the midst of these repeating lessons -- don't complain, but ask them to capture this incessant repetition...hold it long enough for you to recognize your responsibility in it all...and then learn. This is best achieved with the attitude of gratitude. Gratitude always comes from the superconscious -- it floods the emotions with devotions and displaces the pain of repeating lessons with wisdom. Like tacking in an opposing wind -- it's the angles of your angels -- it's your superconscious. (Guru Singh & Guruperkarma Kaur)

🌀Breathe and she will return. (John Wineland)

🌀Recognize that the other person is you. (Yogi Bhajan , Aquarian Sutra 1)

🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my Oracle)

TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE

Day 8 of this month's practice, take 11 minutes today to sit and listen to, or chant, the Mangala Charn mantra... This meditation (Aad Guray Nameh, Jugad Guray Nameh, Sat Guray Nameh, Siri Guru Devay Nameh) is a prayer for protection and projection from the heart. We extend our heart without fear. We draw into our heart, without fear.

Please read through first, then ...

• Today, sit (or stand) in stillness as you listen and chant, or simply listen to this mantra, let this question stir within you…. Where do I feel tenderness in my body? Am I letting myself feel it as “nervous excitement,” anticipation of pleasure or joy? Am I able to breathe into that tenderness and allow it to become joy? Or am I still too afraid, even to breathe into that unimaginable space? There are no wrong answers…. Just feel into your own tenderness… Hold it safe.

• Setup: your "setup" for this month's daily practice is how you "hold onto yourself" and receive...

• Begin by closing your eyes and aligning your body into its truest, most elegant posture, tucking your chin to lift your heart, tilting your pelvis to straighten your spine. Become still, more still than you've ever been. Your alignment is the physical training for trustworthiness. Bring your hands to your heart, right (masculine) over left (feminine).

• Focus on feeling the vibration. That is all.

• Set your timer for 11 minutes or listen to the mantra sung by Snatam Kaur here:

• As the timer signals or the mantra ends allow your eyes to slowly open. Take three, relaxed breath cycles, no pressing, no effort, and feel yourself full, without thoughts, open. Safe to receive. Then, step into your day, letting the mantra echo as a nourishing vibration whenever you become still. You don't need to DO anything. Let the world come to you with its demands, its complaints, and yes, its endless tide of gifts and blessings.✨

Ps. There is still room in the Vancouver Island Co-ed polarities workshop in Comox (Nov 11) and the Vancouver Island Menswork Retreat in Comox (Nov 11-13). Please talk to me if you’ve got questions. Set up a chat at https://www.sacredbodies.ca/chat

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