THIS GIFT SHE BRINGS TO ME

• Today's suggested practice: Day 3 of this month's practice... (see below)
• My playlist while writing today's meditation: The Beatles, And I Love Her
• My morning practice: 4:15am for 75 minutes of physical, yogic, and meditative practice, including the Abundance Meditation
• My vulnerability practice: Listening to what comes, the memory of fear, and how, today, I am able to laugh: Bring it! Bring it, please...

Hans Peter Meyer

TODAY'S MEDITATIONThese tests. I think they’re about her. No. They’re about me. She is the only way that I come to know my deeper self, my higher self, my soul.

This thought, that I have to do something. Wrong. I have to learn to do nothing. To sit and notice and enjoy and receive.

She brings me everything. And tenderly. The kiss my lover brings, she brings to me. And I love her. (Lennon and McCartney)

What if we, as men, just accepted that, having chosen us, she will show us, eventually, our most difficult and darkest moments? This is the romance we don't think we want, the romance of the hero's journey, our journey, travelling from bliss and joy and excitement to this dark, tortured moment. Not to slay dragons. Not to vanquish monsters. But to know ourselves as the dragon, the monster that keeps us from our own happiness.

What am I most afraid of? This I know: That loving her, surrendering to this flow of love that I cannot control, this flow will bring me to this testing ground.

The things we think are important in our love become ever less so the more we love. I begin by thinking it is the sex, and more. It is the devotion, and more. The joy I feel in her presence, and more.

But all of these fade. Quickly or slowly. They fade whether I am a dedicated practitioner of the arts of polarity, of tantra, of exemplary communication, etc. These are all of them worthy and beautiful things to do. But, in the end, they are only techniques. When I apply them as a strategy to forgo or avoid the pain of inevitable boredom and irritation and disinterest, the dead zone, they cannot help me.

This is the place without light, smell, without warmth or cold, without orientation. I can only trust this one thing: the love that brought me here. Fumbling. Flailing. And yes, failing, always failing. Yet also, always opening my heart in the face of this failing, still trusting its flow, its benevolence which now looks so different from the sex, devotion, adoration, pleasure, joy, companionship, comfort that I used to think had something to do with love...

In this dark and disoriented place love brings me everything. She brings me everything. Her smooth skin a memory, but her sighs and her eyes and her soft voice, so present, so now. So much more than than I imagined they could ever be. And so, she brings me her greatest gift, my awareness of who I am, who I can be, as a man, in this moment.

TODAY'S INSPIRATIONS🌀...some thoughts are so familiar to us that we believe them to be true and we are not even aware that we are thinking the thought, before we know it we are again following the same tracks leading us to that place we no longer wish to visit. We are challenging these habitual thinking patterns in this Sadhana by observing them closely, from a place of silence. (Tim and Marieke, Kundalini Yoga School, Abundance sadhana, Day 5)

🌀The quantum field responds not to what we want, it responds to who we are being. (Dr. Joe Dispenza)

🌀The Tantras, or sacred tantric texts, make it clear that the purpose of the relationship is for the mutual enlightenment of both persons involved. It cannot be for the ego-gratification of one person. ... Another principle ... is that the woman always takes the initiative in the Tantras. Always. (Miranda Shaw)

🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my Oracle)

TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICEDay 2 of this month's practice, take 11 minutes today to sit and listen to, or chant, the Heart Hum Meditation...

Please read through first, then ...

• Today, sit (or stand) in stillness with this question.... What is this love that I yearn for? How has it felt to me in the past? How do I feel it now? Who am I today, the lover or the beloved? Who am I being in this breath?
• Setup: your "setup" for this month's daily practice is how you "hold onto yourself" and receive...
• Begin by closing your eyes and aligning your body into its truest, most elegant posture, tucking your chin to lift your heart, tilting your pelvis to straighten your spine. Become still, more still than you've ever been. Your alignment is the physical training for trustworthiness. Bring your hands to your heart, right (masculine) over left (feminine).
• Focus on feeling the vibration. That is all.
• Set your timer for 11 minutes or listen to the "Heart Hum" mantra here:
• As the timer signals or the mantra ends allow your eyes to slowly open. Take three, relaxed breath cycles, no pressing, no effort, and feel yourself full, without thoughts, open. Safe to receive. Then, step into your day, letting the mantra echo as a nourishing vibration whenever you become still. You don't need to DO anything. Let the world come to you with its demands, its complaints, and yes, its endless tide of gifts and blessings.

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