
FOUND WHILE FALLING
I’m very sure that prizing balance is pretty much the best way to dampen the fire that lies at the heart of love, marriage
I’m very sure that prizing balance is pretty much the best way to dampen the fire that lies at the heart of love, marriage
...let me take a moment to thank the men who, in the absence of fathers, uncles, elders who did not step up to the plate —thank you stepping up to the plate today. You inspire me.
To listen to this silence and allow it to show me and more tender, more vulnerable, more receptive, truer way of being…with tears as well as laughter as well as wonder…
It does not come easily to us, true noticing — that transmutation of looking into seeing. We must apprentice ourselves to it daily. It is our life’s work. (Maria Popova)
I should have known better. The signs were there, literally...
"I am frustrated and feel lonely - deep into my bones. I miss touch and yearn for human connection.... I wonder how one forms and maintains relationships? Of any sorts ... I remain clueless about it and marvel at how others do it."
...“chasing the dragon” is usually associated with the heroin addict’s constant pursuit of the high. The oblivion. Perhaps the dragon of sexual desire is like this..., and especially for us as men...
A Crooked Path to Sacred Marriage
I think my nervous system is here to tell me something that will help me, not limit me. For me to become myself more fully, I have to trust that my nervous system is doing more than telling me to shut down.
My latest thought: Perhaps it's also important for me to lose time with everyone I meet? It's one of the reasons I choose to spend time with one or two people, rather than in groups. I feel myself too hurried and too protective when even three or four are in conversation. I crave the slow.
There is a siren call to be more of myself, to experience more of myself. I am choosing to listen. To keep things simpler, slower, quieter. And then I begin to hear things, and wonder about things.
One of the most beautiful things I can do for myself and everyone around me is to retrain my nervous system. As a masculine-identified man I'm trained in the defensive/offensive “warrior” mode. There are good reasons for this. Today, there are better reasons to learn something new.
I used to think this was a 50/50 thing. I used to think that we were equally responsible for this trusting at the crossing. I believed that it was up to this thing called "us," whether the crossing was made or not. This belief was a fundamental failing my relationships. I know differently now.
I used to think I needed someone to love me, for that feeling to be real. Now, I know better.
My father wasn’t an easy father for me to be a son to. I know I'm not unique, as a son. I think many (all?) of our fathers want things for us and from us. Sometimes that casts a shadow. Sometimes it's an inspiration.
I've asked people to tell about success and love relationships on the Apprenticeship to Love chat group. Please join me and give me your thoughts.
This is a test post. Will it show up at @index@apprenticeshiptolove.com ?
Rarely do we have the guidance or the discipline to fall into the mystery of our desire. It is in this mystery, in the enchantment of it, that we may discover the truth of our desire.
Breathe. Be amazed, and humbled, at the power of a heart learning to open, learning to hold it all.
The men and women who come to me are often swimming in deep, dark waters. They're troubled. They are, perhaps, hoping I can throw them a line. I'm hoping I can teach them to "drown proof" their marriages. To discover their capacities, their limits, and ways to enjoy what deep waters bring.